Noted university scientist lands $20m government grant to study link between an unmodifiable human trait and survival.

Scientist finds a borderline significant correlation, but only in tall females who raise llamas.

University press release mistakes correlation for causation, implies findings apply to all people.

Erroneous release tweeted 6 million times.

Scientist appears on 18 morning talk shows (including one with a tall female and 6 random llamas).

Scientist secures $20m from private investors to commercialize test for the unmodifiable human trait.

Sigh.